I'll stay till you're asleep
by stilljustme
Summary: Danny has to face his worst nightmare.


It was after midnight, and it was cold. Danny cursed under his breath as he waited for Jackie. She was still in the store, getting some coffee and trying to get some information out of the shopkeeper. The man had always tried to flirt with her, and though Danny hated to play his game – they needed everything he could tell them. And they needed the security cameras. It was the only chance they had to get a glimpse on Mario Arcavello's face – the newest leader of one of the mafia gangs around. The LAPD had warned the NYPD three weeks ago that Arcavello had left the city and was on his way to New York. They had done everthing they could, and still… ten deaths and nobody even knew how the man looked like. They needed those cameras, and they needed them now.  
"C'mon, Jackie!" Growling Danny checked his watch again. 00:27 am, he should long be home now. Linda would be worried. His mind was half on calling her as a familiar car halted beside him.

"Hey, kid", he greeted his brother, "what'cha doing out there?"  
Jamie smiled wryly and rolled his eyes to the man sitting next to him – detective James Anderson. Not the best companion on a cold dark night.  
"I've got my last night shift today. Sergeant Morris just called and told us to get here. You found the guy?"  
"Wish it was that easy."  
Danny sighed and nodded expectantly, waiting for Jamie and Anderson to get out of the car. "Tourists found a corpse down the street. A woman said that she saw a man wearing a dark coat in that shop over there, ten minutes before the poor guy died. I know that's not much", he added quickly as Anderson opened his mouth, "but right now that's all we have. My partner detective Curatola is in here, trying to get the security cameras."  
"Without court order?" Jamie and Anderson asked in unison. Danny smirked. "You seem to get on well together. Maybe we should team you up more often!"  
Anderson shrugged. "We'll see. So what are we gonna do now?"  
Danny coughed back a laughter at the sight of Jamie's shocked expression. "Well, maybe you could help my partner over there to get something out of the shopkeeper?"  
As the man nodded and turned around, Danny chuckled, shivering by now. "You don't seem to like him, kid."  
Jamie sighed. "Does anybody like him? He's annoying, racist and he loves jazz. It's a nightmare!" Then he quickly bit his lips. "Sorry, Danny. I shouldn't talk like that about…"  
"About a detective?" With raised eyebrows, Danny looked his brother. "Don't you ever be intimidated by a rank, kid, okay? It's what you do that counts, not how many stripes you wear."  
Jamie backed away at the rebuke. "I know. It's just…"

A shot banged through the night.

Danny was already halfway in the shadowed street, his gun pulled up and unlocked, as he realized that Jamie was following him.  
"Damn it, kid, get away!", he hissed, "that's not your business!"  
Jamie had his gun in his hands, too. "I won't let you go alone", he said without looking at Danny.  
The elder rolled his eyes but moved on into the darkness. "I wouldn't be alone if you just would get Jackie here to help me. That's not a rookie's work!"  
Jamie smiled. "It's what you do that counts, not how many stripes you wear, remember?"

Another shot rang, very close now. Danny shoved Jamie behind him. "Police! Drop the weapon!", he bellowed. In his mind the thoughts were racing. Could it be Arcavello again? His family was known to come back to their victims to celebrate their "victories". Had they known the dead? So far his identity was unclear.  
Another shot was fired, and Jamie stumbled against him. It was far too near. Arcavello must have cat's eyes.  
Danny grabbed Jamie around the waist to steady him. "Don't you fall on me, or we…" Then he froze. His hand was wet.

"Jamie?"

"Danny…"

Every thought about Arcavello was vanished as Danny turned around just in time to catch his baby brother before he broke down.  
"No!" He cradled him in his lap and examined the big hole in his chest. There was a whole lot of blood creeping out, but he surely would be okay. He had to.  
"Here!" He pressed Jamie's hand onto the wound, causing him to groan. "You've got to stop the bleeding, alright? I'm gonna call for help. You'll be okay, kid, I promise!"  
With one hand, he pulled out his cell and dialed 911. "Detective Reagan, I got a… wounded officer in …541 27th street, shooting wounds, yeah. Yeah… blood group is B positive, now get your ass here, okay?" He cursed himself. Yelling at people wouldn't help him. And he needed to calm down Jamie so his heart would go down and the blood would come slower.

"You'll be okay, Jamie. I promise you, you'll be okay." Gently Danny caressed his brother's face, trying to wipe the cold sweat off Jamie's forehead. Jamie shivered. "Danny…"  
"Now stop talking for once and let me do my job, I know what I'm doing."  
The heck did he know! Another look at the bullet wound almost made him gag. Danny pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. It was too big. And deep, he could see the bones beneath. And blood under the bones, flooding around in and out of Jamie's body. Danny forced himself to concentrate on Jamie's pale face again. "Stay with me, kid. Stay with me. You…"

"Reagan?" That was Jackie at the far end of the street. "Reagan, are you…" Then he heard something hitting her. Jackie gasped, then obviously ran after the man, in the opposite direction. "Police! Drop the damn gun and stop!"  
"Danny prepared to help her and carefully let Jamie's body slide to the ground. "You'll be okay!", he told him and stood up quickly. He had to get out of this street, away from this nightmare. It would be okay. Jamie would be okay, he couldn't just be… not because of such a bastard, he wouldn't…

"Danny…" Jamie's voice was weak and scared. Danny froze. "I'm back in a minute, kid, and the paramedics will be, too!" He shouldn't leave him alone, he knew it, but…

"Danny, please…don't go!"

"_Danny, please…don't go!" Jamie sat up in his bed, his big blue eyes even bigger than usual with fear. "What is it now, Jamie?" Danny sighed as he stood up from the bedside, "I've got homework to do!"  
"You can do it here"; the four-year-old quickly offered. "Really, you can switch on all the lamps if you want! But don't go, Danny! Please?"  
"God's grace, Jamie, what are you afraid of?" Danny loved his brother, he really did, but since Jamie had an own room, he hardly slept alone. And Danny really had homework to do.  
Jamie bowed his head in shame. "It's too big alone. I miss someone to talk to."  
"You miss Joe?", Danny asked. The brothers had shared their room before. Jamie shrugged. "I miss you too, Danny. You're braver than Joe."  
"I'm not. Besides, why do you need someone brave?"  
The inquisitive look made Jamie's chin quiver. "I… Joe said there's a frog in the closet. A really big one, and it wants to eat me! Please, Danny!"  
Danny cursed under his breath. Joe should know better than to tell Jamie horror stories. He was only four, of course he thought they were real!  
"Danny? Please…" Tears filled Jamie's eyes, and Danny felt his anger melt away with everything else, directly towards those eyes.  
"Of course I'll stay", he promised, "Let's go find this frog, shall we?"  
Jamie's troubled face lit up. "Really? Thank you, Danny!" Then he got earnest again. "Danny…"  
Danny smiled. "Of course, kid. I'll stay till you're asleep."  
"Thank you!" Crying with relief Jamie got out of his bed and hugged Danny tight, his arms reaching only around the belly of his older brothers.  
Danny tousled his brother's hair."Don't mention it, Jamie. That's my job, remember? I'm your big brother. I'm gonna watch over you. I'll protect you from everything. I promise."  
"I love you, Danny."  
"Love you too, little one."_

"Of course I'll stay", Danny whispered, more to himself. "Where's the fucking ambulance?" Then he broke down at Jamie's side, crying.  
"Danny…"  
"I'm here, Jamie. I'm here." He wiped the tears away and pulled his brother up into his lap again. Jamie shivered, but didn't seem to have the power to groan anymore. His eyes searched the surroundings, almost panicking, until they found Danny's. Tears of gratefulness rolled out of the younger Reagan, mixed with sorrow.  
"Watch out… for…" Jamie coughed blood. Danny pulled him closer. "Don't talk, Jamie. You'll be okay, but don't talk right now!"  
Jamie closed his eyes. "I'm cold"; he whispered, shaking, "I'm so cold…"  
"It's okay, kid, I help you. You're going to be okay!" As carefully and quickly as possible, Danny pulled of his jacket and wrapped it around Jamie, then he pulled him even closer. "Better?"  
Jamie nodded weakly, his forehead leaning on Danny's chest. "Thank you…for everyt… everthing. And I'm sorry if… if I disappointed you… I know I … did. Often." He coughed again, and Danny wiped his face with his sleeve. "You didn't, Jamie. Never."  
He shivered himself as he realized what he just was doing. He was saying good-bye.  
"Hey, Jamie, are you giving up? Because that really would be stupid, given the fact that…"

"Danny? Can you tell…" Jamie groaned in pain and Danny pressed his flat hand against the wound.  
"…Tell dad and Erin and…" This time the coughing lasted longer, long enough for Danny to realize the truth.

There was no salvation for Jamie. He would die, here and now, in an empty street, because Danny had put him behind and then the shots had flown through the air and…  
"Jamie, I'm so sorry." He cried now, too. It couldn't be real. He couldn't just lose another brother, he had already lost Joe, it was enough, he couldn't lose Jamie now, he couldn't!

"Don't… be…." Jamie whispered. He smiled. Yes, he smiled. He smiled through pain and death. A part of Danny was filled with admiration. The bigger part of him, anyways, just wanted to punch Jamie and get him back to life.  
"Don't go, Jamie", he pleaded, crying like he hadn't cried in a very long time. "Please! Please don't go!"  
"I'll keep an eye on you"; Jamie whispered, "and on the others, too. I…" He shuddered; his composure broke under the pain. "Danny!"

"I'm here!" Tenderly Danny held his brother in his arms, trying to blink the tears away. "I'm always here, Jamie."

"Please tell them… that I…"

Arcavello would pay. He would beg him to be allowed to die when he would be done with him.

"I will tell them, Jamie." Danny felt his voice going calmer. Whatever else, he couldn't upset Jamie.  
"It's going to be okay, kid, I'm here. I'm here." At the edges his voice started cracking again.

Jamie didn't seem to hear him. The blood around him was so hot… and inside him it was freezing cold.  
"I'm sorry" he said again.  
"It's okay, kid." Danny bit his tongue. There was so much he needed Jamie to understand, so much to live… and now he would never, never ever…  
"You never disappointed me, Jamie"; he whispered, pulling his brother closer. "You're a good cop. Really. And you're…"

He lost the battle against the tears again.  
"And you're the best brother I could ask for. Erin, Joe and I agreed about that. You're the best of us, Jamie. You're the best."  
Jamie tensed but he was too weak to move. "I'm… not…" he whispered.

In the distance Danny heard the paramedic's siren. Maybe…  
"Jamie, they're almost here! Stay with me! Stay with me, kid, please! Please! Don't make me lose you!" The tears ran free down Jamie's face. Gently Danny wiped them away.

"Watch out for…"  
"I will." Whatever. Whatever it took to make Jamie comfortable. Maybe he still had a chance!  
"Danny?" "Yeah, kid, what's the matter?"  
Jamie only shook his head, his eyes were closed. Danny moved closer. He felt his baby brother's breath on his face as he held him, cradling him as if they were children again.

"It's going to be okay, Jamie. I'm here. You can…" He swallowed and coughed heavily. "I'm gonna protect the family, I promise." Everything was spinning around in his head. But he had to be strong now.  
For Jamie.

"It's all going to be okay, Jamie, I got you! I got you, kid, you're gonna be okay, you…" Danny broke off. It didn't work!  
Gently he planted a kiss on Jamie's forehead, causing him to open his eyes once again.

The ambulance stopped.

"I love you, Jamie. We all do."  
"Love you… too. Watch out."  
"We will." Danny sobbed. "Jamie, please…"

But the call didn't reach its addressee.

As Jackie and two paramedics ran to them, Danny broke down over his brother's dead body.


End file.
